Dear Tyler Oakley, Daniel Tosh, and like-minded dudes,
You don’t get it.
You just don’t get it.
In theory, you’re not incapable of getting it - after all, not making light of violent crime is a fairly low rung on the decent human being ladder - but you have made it clear that…
I’ve read about this ‘Tosh’ business and it’s gross.
I don’t want to clutter up my tumblr with a lot of ‘feministy stuff’ (not that it’s not important and not that I don’t support it 100% because I do - I just like my blog being somewhat semi-funny stuff and beautiful photos and my personal posts) but I’m reading a lot of it lately and some things resonate with me.
And reading about how women have to just accept being ass-pinched and such really shits me off. For my first ever ‘zombie walk’ I decided to go as a school girl zombie because hey, I have the uniform that still fit from high school… and I wanted to cover it with fake blood. So here’s me dressed as a zombie school girl and this dick comes along and slaps my ass. He’d been drinking and he smelt disgusting. I yelled at him ‘don’t fucking touch me’ and he slurs ‘you’re asking for it’. My friend was there and he threatened to beat him up if he didn’t fuck off and thankfully he did. I was really angry and humiliated. I didn’t want that attention because of my costume, I didn’t want my reaction to being sexually harassed to disturb how great a night my friends and I were having and I didn’t want my arse slapped by a random, disgusting person.
Also, at a christmas party last year for this place I used to work at, I had to put up with more misogynistic bullshit. An ex-co-worker of mine, someone I never really spoke to except for a few ‘hey how are you’s in the work place, kept coming up to me and hugging me tightly at the party. The first time I awkwardly hugged back because I thought he was being friendly and that’s fine. The second time his hands were low on my waist and I thought that was unnecessary - also, we already hugged at the start of the night and I was like, I barely know you, dude. I put it down to odd behavior on his part and moved on, unfazed. At the end of the night my boyfriend Josh, and our friend and I were leaving the party - He and Josh went to go say bye to our other friend. I was left standing alone, near the door with my bag in one hand and a lolly-bag in the other (I’m 25 and snagged a lolly-bag, WHAT OF IT?!). This guy who had already hugged me twice came up to me again and hugged me - he was clearly very intoxicated at this stage. And I stiffened as his hands reached around and grabbed my ass - I was mortified. I immediately dropped my things so he would move away and he did as I picked up my things. Even though I was really mad, at this stage I thought it’s best to complain to Josh about it later and be done with it. There are slimy jerks in this world. As we were leaving however, we passed this guy and his friend sitting outside. The guy who just grabbed my ass stands up, arms outstretched and says “Sophieeee! How about another hug?” grinning. I said “uh, no thanks” and kept walking. That would have been the end of it but this idiot then says “bitch.” Josh and my friend start yelling at him, calling him a cunt and other things - he walked off, tail between his legs.
I gave this arsehole 3 hugs, the third one he felt my ass, the one time I politely refuse he calls me a bitch. Like I should be just dying to be groped by some pathetic, little fuck.
Also, when I told this story to a guy friend, he asked me what I was wearing - I asked why and he said ‘well, if you were wearing a tight dress, who wouldn’t grab your arse’ - I told him he was being a prick and he got mad at me. I should just lighten up about being sexually assaulted and about the conclusion that it was probably because of what I was wearing (just for a fun fact, I was wearing a long dress, almost down to my ankles and the top of the dress went up to my neck, no cleavage, no figure-huggingness, no nothing). It was just a joke that my night ended horribly because of a sleazy worm who thinks it’s okay to grab your ex-work-colleagues ass at a christmas party.